Dr. Richard Brookman offers insight into helping kids make the right choices when it comes to drugs and alcohol

Kids and teens are faced with a lot of choices. This includes whether or not to try a variety of alcohol and drugs. How can you help guide your child to make the right decisions for their health and safety? Dr. Richard Brookman, a specialist in the physical, emotional and social health of adolescents ages 12 to 22, offers guidance.

Should I be concerned about my child/adolescent and alcohol or drug use?

Experimentation with a variety of substances, especially alcohol, tobacco and marijuana, is common among teenagers. Many teens may go on to use substances frequently, even daily, including legally available substances (alcohol, tobacco, inhalants, prescription drugs, over-the-counter medications) as well as marijuana and illicit (street) drugs.

Young people have many different reasons for trying and continuing use of alcohol, tobacco and/or illegal substances, such as to:                           

• Feel mature and be like adults
• Express independence
• Satisfy curiosity
• Fit in with a group socially
• Feel good/ “get high”
• Deal with stress, depression or boredom

Young people who use alcohol or tobacco regularly are more likely to try illegal drugs than those who don’t use alcohol or tobacco. Easy availability is a factor and may explain why young people are more likely to use over-the-counter or prescription drugs or alcohol, often found in their own homes or homes of friends/relatives. They may also be provided or even sold by friends and schoolmates.

Observation of widespread use by adults in their own families, their communities and/or the media, often without observation of consequences, may make young people believe these substances are safe.

What might make my child/adolescent at increased risk for misuse of alcohol or drugs?

Young people at increased risk for misuse (or excessive use) of alcohol and/or drugs include those who:

• Have parents with alcohol or drug abuse problems
• Have friends who regularly use alcohol or drugs
• Have family problems including parental separation/divorce or domestic violence
• Have a history of depression, anxiety or other mental health problem
• Have poor academic performance
• Have a history of behavior problems
• Have been victims of physical or sexual abuse
• Identify as LGBTQ

How and when should I approach the subject of underage drinking and drug misuse with my child/adolescent?

It’s never too soon to address concerns about use of alcohol or drugs, but it can be too late. Share with young school-aged children your beliefs and attitudes about alcohol and drugs, the appropriate place in cultural or religious context, and the risks and dangers.

Opportunities for talking with children about drugs and alcohol include when:

• A family member or close friend has had problems – health-related, legal, social – that are obvious to your child/adolescent
• Children observe drinking or drug use, with or without consequences, in movies, television programs or online
• Your child asks a question about alcohol or drugs
• Your child tells you about a drug prevention program at school

Good times to talk include mealtimes, while traveling in a car or when engaging in activities together. Everyone should put away their phones and participate in the conversation. The amount of information provided depends on the age and level of understanding of the child.

“Scare tactics” rarely prove to be effective in preventing experimental or even excessive use of alcohol or drugs by young people. Focusing on immediate consequences may be more useful than discussing health-related consequences much later in life. Immediate hazards include the expense, effects on appearance and attractiveness, and high risk of addiction, especially when the brain is still developing.

Conversations about alcohol and drugs grow more important as children become teenagers, although teens may be more reluctant or resistant to communicating with parents. This is especially true when the conversations involve just prohibitions without reasons or opportunities for questions or discussion.

In talking to older children and teenagers, consider:

• Sharing and reminding them of expectations and “house rules,” particularly related to having friends over or going to parties or sleepovers
• Informing them that your biggest concern is their safety – that if they have had alcohol or drugs and are feeling ill or unable to drive, they can call and get picked up without an immediate argument or shaming
• Setting penalties for breaking rules well in advance and implementing them consistently and calmly after they have recovered from the intoxication
• A safety contract signed by both the child/teen and parents 

How can I set a good example for my child when it comes to alcohol and drugs?

• The most important influence on children and teens is what parents do or don’t do, rather than (or in addition to) what they say regarding alcohol and drugs.
• Parents should not smoke or vape at all, due to many risks to your children’s health as well as your own.
• In families where alcohol is used as a beverage or for social or religious purposes, model limited and responsible use.
• Model reasonable and responsible use of medications, including avoiding excessive use of medications for minor ailments or for aiding sleep. This also includes judicious and appropriate use of medical marijuana and CBD products.
• Do not give alcohol to children to see how they might react – and don’t treat it as humorous.
• If you’re addicted to alcohol or drugs, make every effort to get help and achieve sobriety.
• Adults who provide alcohol, marijuana (where it is legal) or illegal drugs to minors are breaking the law. Don’t provide alcohol for youth functions, including high school graduation parties. If you do, you may unwittingly contribute to a fatal motor vehicle crash by departing partygoers who are intoxicated.
• If you used alcohol or drugs when you were young, do not volunteer this information to your children unless asked. If asked, be honest about your experiences. At the same time, tell your children that today’s drugs are stronger, often mixed with dangerous other substances, and have shown to be more harmful than was thought in the past.

What should I do if I think my teen has a problem with alcohol or drugs?

If you suspect or become aware of a drug or alcohol problem:

• Observe before jumping to conclusions. Signs that a teen may be misusing drugs or alcohol include:
  • Frequent physical symptoms not otherwise explained
  • Loss of control over emotions – outbursts of anger, crying, anxiety
  • Paranoid or secretive behavior
  • Trouble in relationships with family members and others
  • Worsening school or job performance
  • Dropping out of extra-curricular activities
  • Change in friends to those who appear to be using alcohol or illegal drugs
  • Change in style of dress, personal hygiene
  • Discovery of drug paraphernalia (smoking devices, vape cartridges, pill bottles, beer cans)
  • Suspicious disappearance of alcohol or pills from family supplies
     
• Ask your child if they are consuming alcohol or using drugs, starting with sharing your concerns and observations but avoiding angry confrontation.
• Put the concerns into context. Is your teen struggling with school, sports or relationships? Is your teen showing symptoms of depression or anxiety? Is there any evidence of self-harming behavior?
• Avoid “detective work” such as searching the teen’s room, diary or mobile phone. This risks damaging trust and can limit communication.
• Secure all substances in the household. Get rid of or lock up all alcoholic beverages, anything with alcohol in it, prescription and non-prescription medications, and marijuana edibles.
• Try to keep the teen away from parties and other places where alcohol or drugs may be available, at least until there is a plan for help.
• Do not let the teen drive if there is any chance they’ll drive under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Remind the teen not to ride with anyone (friend or adult) who has been drinking or using drugs.
• Get the support of family and friends.
• Consult a health professional (pediatrician, family physician, counselor) for advice.            

Read about additional adolescent health topics on our website and blog.